Constant VS Competition

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Whats On My Mind:

Thank You dear God for healing my gastric! =D
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On the way back from college, I was talking with mum about the idea of purchasing the new Proton Saga.


Along the way, she started talking about money. It leads me thinking about the decision that I plan to make in the near future - stop my studies at diploma level.

She told me, next time is your turn to support me, she is reaching retirement age this year, if the company does not wan to continue the contract, thats it la..

It strike me that moment, thinking.. Its her usual "mother blabbering" that I tend not to listen last time, but for the 1st time, my brain took her words into reasoning...

And its the only time I realized age is catching up on her...


My usual confidence in my ability was then put to the challenge.. I thought I will be able to success and become big if I were to come out after diploma to pursue my dream.

But the slight thought of "what IF I did not make it?" pinned me down to the corner..


How am I going to support the household next time? I need to earn at less 4k in order to pay for the total cost of living.

Continuing till my degree certainly promises a secure job and all, but I will be tie down..

Time will be running ahead of me, I'm afraid that I'll 'go with the flow', living an ordinary life is never what I hope for, achieving my dream YOUNG is my ever sought after mission...

All this confusion and thinking stir up a desire within me, that is I need to prove myself worthy, to challenge the impossible and reap whats behind the wall.

Chris & Esther's dog, Ginger & Faith(white)

I've read about this BMW short film contest last year, and few days ago, my lecturer - Mr Adrian passed me a link, I saw the same familiar BMW short film as the title.

Its about the winner of last years competition. I checked it out and I almost peed in my pants...

The winner actually invested RM5000 into his short film, and reap back a whooping RM50,000...

Dude! I don't even have RM200 bucks with me...

All I got is my trusty video camera, maybe I can buy some RM0.50++ polystyrene as light reflectors in bookstores, a hand carry spot light at handymart, and a big heart for film.


I checked the top 10 finalists and this was what I found out..

They are either, freelance director, graphic designer, assistant director, MMU graduate & now an aspiring producer, commercial director, film editor, former actress & now event manager and even an UTM English lecturer, all had the cash to purchase/loan at less basic film needs.

Just by looking at their film poster is enough to make someone felt awed.

The winner of BMW short film competition 2007 film poster

Me, 19 years old, hotel school student, no money, less experience.. Against all odds.

Winning the grand prize is not the primary objective if I join this competition, but to be recognize and be known is, with that, I'll be able find my way around the industry more easy.

Some old Chinese saying sound something like this "When the tiger dies, it leaves the skin, but when a man dies, he lives his name".

One of the top 10

I still thinking about it, considering circumstances and other factors, things are gona get much more rough if I were to be in this.

What say you if you were to be in my shoes?